Dude- if you're in e-commerce, this is the place to be.

Since I did not have Internet at home the past month, I was not privy to this lovely YouTube video that my coworker created from a collage of pictures from Solid Cactus E-Commerce Boot Camp, October 2008. For more information on upcoming Boot Camps, click here.

In the meantime, enjoy this little montage. I had to spread the word. And yes, I had fun as you can tell. = )

Halloween 1988: The Year I Dressed Up as a Bar

I wrote about this as a chapter in my memoir, and I just had to dig through all my pics to find these. I am not supposed to have them. I took them from my mom years ago to show someone and never gave them back. Inadvertantly, I lost them in a sea of other pictures. A few weeks ago, I found them on a whim stuffed in a photo envelope of some concert photos from my radio days. Thank goodness I found them! Now I have electronic copies and maybe will give these back to my mom. Maybe.

I may post a portion of the chapter I wrote, but here's the nutshell version. When I was 10, my mom created this bar costume for me. I won "Most Creative" at the two fire hall Halloween parties I went to. The costume is made of cardboard, covered in contact paper that looks like wood and decorated with all the bar staples superglued to the bar- bottles, cans, shot glasses, napkins, cigarattees, etc. I was dresses as a bartender underneath with a white blouse, black slacks and suspenders with beer buttons up and down.

Now that I am 30, I can see that perhaps I was corrupted by the bar scene at a very young age and this explains a lot! haha. Seriously though- my mom was a creative and a whiz at Halloween costumes. I was very lucky. Maybe I'll go as a bar next year.

Centralia and Halloween Party I - A little late of a post

Last weekend was pretty awesome. I would have added a post sooner, but being without Internet at home and sheer laziness of going somewhere with wi-fi kind of got in the way.

Friday night, a few co-workers and I met up with my creative writing bud A. and headed to Gravestone Manor, a theatrical haunted house in Wilkes-Barre, where two of my other creative writing friends work. It was pretty cool. Then, we hit up Old Tyme Charley's in Plains for a little 40lb. Head and a lot of bomb shots- Jager bombs. Grape bombs. Raspberry bombs. I also ran into some old radio buds, so that's always fun!! With a case of heartburn, we then hit up Flaherty's in Edwardsville where we pretty much closed down the place. It was nice little tour of some of the finest bars in NEPA...

Saturday, I hibernated all day until it was time to get ready for A and C's annual Halloween bash. I'll post some pics later of that. Fun times ensued as usual. I reigned champion at Beer Pong, and then the Flip Cup team I was on also rocked. My friends may have had a pole, too. And you know what that means for a drunk Donna. There may or may not be videos.

Sunday, it was a hungover road trip to Centralia... you can read more about that on the post below. But I saw a part of Centralia I never saw before- the portion of Route 61 that is closed off. It goes on for a few miles- we walked a lot of it- really getting some exercise, too-- you just don't realized it's a big hill when you go down... haha. The big crack in the road was quite impressive- trees were growing out of it. But what was even more amusing was the graffiti painted on the road. Craziness.

So much changed in Centralia since I first started going- a lot more has been torn down, but there was still cool stuff to see. I just really enjoyed the weekend. I was completely exhausted by Monday! But what a great weekend- a haunted house, a few bars, a great party, a cool road trip and still some good sleep!

I still have yet to get my TV and washer and dryer, but I guess I'm not really home enough to watch TV. My two new neighbors commented on that fact last night, as I ran into the house to change and then leave again for dinner with co-workers at Rustic Kitchen at the Mohegan Sun at Pocono Downs casino. They were outside smoking and said, "When are you ever home?!"

Wilkes Homecoming & Oktoberfest 2008

After sleeping off the trip to San Francisco, I woke up around 1 p.m. Saturday in time to hit up the 5th Quarter alumni tent, which my department (Communication Studies) co-sponsored. It was Wilkes' Homecoming, and a very special one at that-- the 75th anniversary! I didn't check out the game, just the party tent afterwards, which was held on the Fenner Quadrangle. I always love going back to Wilkes-- the profs in the communication department really are like my second family. It was wonderful to see Jane, Andrea, Dr. Kinney and Dr. Stine again-- and I was really surprised to see a few alums that I haven't seen in almost 10 years. I have a special situation- I started at Wilkes in 1996-1998 and then left and didn't come back until 2002. That being said, I knew a lot of people at homecoming as I was part of two classes. I enjoyed some beer and food and reminisced for a few hours about all things Wilkes. It was pretty awesome.

I already had plans to meet up with co-workers at Oktoberfest at the Lion Brewery. Since I had a "few" at the Wilkes tent, I opted to walk to Oktoberfest-- which seemed closer than it really was. On the way, me and my old friend M. stopped to visit a fellow alum who was at work. When we got to Oktoberfest, we met up with my work friends just in time to enjoy some really awesome fireworks set to the Star Wars theme. I enjoyed many Stegmeier Oktoberfest beers and listening to 40 lb. Head, by favorite local band. I ran into a slew of people there that I haven't seen in a while, too. Good times! NEPA sure is good for a good party, that's for sure!

THE MIRROR

I did not drive home last night, smartly. I was given a ride to my car, which was safely parked in a Wilkes University lot. When I arrived at my car, however, I noticed something dangling from the driver's side door. My freakin' mirror! Being homecoming weekend at Wilkes, I am sure it was an accident. Some drunk either hit it for shits and giggles, or someone drove into it. Either way, I didn't get mad. I walked to public safety and reported the incident and asked to borrow duct tape. It's an older car, so I wasn't too worried. I'll find another mirror at the junk yard and have Dave help me put it back on. But, such is my life. Always an unexpected adventure!!

(Pics- 1- Jane, Andrea and I. 2- A slew of Wilkes commuication alums from the past 10 years. 3- Me and pals at Oktoberfest. There's more on Facebook!)

My Boyfriend Stopped Smoking and More About My 10 Year Love Affair

The headline caught ya didn't it? I am not talking about a flesh and blood boyfriend! I was at Hops & Barley's in Luzerne, PA for the first time since the Pennsylvania smoking ban on Saturday, and then again last night. I admit, I am not the biggest fan of smoking cigarettes and don't really like going home smelling like smoke. However, now that people who smoke have to go outside every time they want to light up, the conversation stops. I hang out with a lot of fun smokers. So if we are at place where smoking is banned, my smoking friends must up and leave every so often. It interupts the good times. Does that make sense?

So the headline comes from my Miller Lite induced realization last night that Hops and Barely's has been the constant in my life. Yes folks, my longest committment is with Hops and Barley's.

Think of the men I've had the past decade.

The jobs I've had the past decade.

The addresses I've had the past decade.

All have changed. Everything but my love for Hops and Barley's.

I've swayed from Hops and Barley's when I lived in the boonies-- meaning I didn't go as often. (We were taking the only break our relationship ever had.) It accepted me back as if I never left.

One of the owners of Hops came up to me one night a few years ago and said that when he Googled "Hops and Barley's" most of what came up was something I wrote! I thought about it. I've written little reviews of Hops on local bar sites. Some articles I've written for the Weekender were set at Hops and they are archived on line. I've blogged a lot about Hops. I thought that was pretty funny. I don't show up as early in the search engines now thanks to local directories exploding -- but back in the day if you were looking for info on Hops and Barley's in Luzerne, PA, you got stuff I wrote. Ha! On that list is an article I wrote for Associated Content on Best Corner Bars in NEPA, an interview with CCR's original drummer Doug 'Cosmo' Clifford where I told him I had the number to "Down on the Corner: memorized on my favorite bar's jukebox, a review I wrote of Jessica Andrew's Who I Am CD, my old Geocities page,

So, I was telling the peeps I with this realization of my relationship with Hops last night, including the bartender who's been there the whole time Hops has been open- 14 years. Today at work I was told what hotel I am staying at when I go to San Francisco for Online Market World 2008-- I immediately clicked on Restaurants and Bars on the hotel's menu and you're never gonna believe the name of the laid-back bar inside the hotel: Barley 'n Hops. Wicked coincidence.

Tonight I was going through a bunch of boxes of pictures that I never put in albums from over the past ten years or so.... soooo many of them were from Hops. It was weird to see the hair length and weight change and even the people I was in the photos with change- but the background is all the same- Hops! It's like it was one giant, decade long party. Maybe when I am feeling really motivated, I will sort through them and grab one or two per year and put them in order to see the progression!

So, this blog post is my ode to Hops & Barley's in Luzerne. Best food. Best Staff. Great beer selection. Best Crowd. Some of my best memories!

Things I've Been Craving: Tattoos, Snacks, Beer and House stuff

This blog is dedicated to the things I've been craving. Some I got, so I didn't. "Some I got" is poor grammar, I know. I don't know why I wrote that.

ROOT BEER FLOATS

We have a really cool restaurant/deli at work. They happen to serve ice cream. One of my co-workers, G., walked by me with a dish of strawberry ice cream and it looked delicious and refreshing. So, I headed downstairs to get some of my own. Only, I took plastic Pepsi cup I use to fill up with soda (when I am bad) and water (when I am good) and decided that I would put a few scoops of vanilla in there. And then, fill it up with Mug root beer. My own home-made root beer float. To my dismay, everyone was craving ice cream today-- there was no vanilla left. I didn't think strawberry and root beer would mix, so I just ate the ice cream and took my empty cup back up stairs. But now, I am craving a root beer float like you wouldn't believe.

MICHELOB AMBER BOCK

For a short while I worked for a Budweiser wholesaler doing promotions. During this time I was forbidden to drink anything but Anheuser-Busch products. At the time I drank a lot of Yeungling Lager, so my boss suggested Michelob Amber Bock. I liked it. I enjoyed buying cases at the employee discount. Once I left Bud, I didn't revert back to Lager either. I switched to Miller Lite solely because I was gaining weight. But, I still craved Amber Bock. But, nowhere I regularly drank offered it on tap. And, I always forgot to ask for it in bottles. So, last week when I went to Bar Louie at the casino with my friend, I saw it was featured on tap. Bar Louie is based in the Midwest where AB is located- so it made sense. I was excited and quickly changed my lemonade order to Amber Bock. Mmmm. So last night I was at a pizza place and the Olympics were on. I saw some amazing divers but then was even more dazzled by the ad for Amber Bock. Twice in one week I was reminded of a beer I spent so much time with back in 2002-ish. So today after work I went to Bonanza Beverage in Dallas and picked up a case of Amber Bock bottles for a mere $21.90. Killer deal I think.

FURNITURE

I have been craving carpets, a dining room stable and storage solutions since I moved into this hell hole in May. The only way I can make the ugly ceiling and ugly paneling look better is with nice furniture. And jazzing up the place. I still think I may hold off on a TV for self-discipline reasons. But still, it just feels un-American to have one. Still, I guess I am pretty un-American because I do not shop at freaking Wal-Mart. At any rate, I finally decided to splurge. I got a nice new dining room table- pub style at Kurlancheek's in Exeter... super nice people there. I bought some area and throw rugs- a cool shaggy kind from Target. Next is a desk, some fake trees and some wall coverings and I will be set. I also bought a storage cabinet for the bedroom for all my junk. But that has to be put together so that will wait until after the Tulsa trip.

A TATTOO- Had a crazy dream

I put on my turn signal to turn into Marc's Tattooing at their new Shavertown location but I kept going in the direction of home/beer store. I've been contemplating my tattoo seriously now the past few weeks. I want to get the word "Imagine" on my back (lower or upper) or my shoulder. Any ideas?? I am not sure what font and if I want any kind of illustration with it. I thought if I stopped in I could get some ideas from the artists at Marc's Tattooing. But I figured I'd get roped into it, and if I got a tattoo now and it did make my back hurt, the flight may be uncomfortable. Aslo, I had this dream last night that made me feel better about getting a tattoo. I was at the tattoo parlor (why is it called a parlor?) and the guy injected ink inside me with a big novacaine type needle and it hurt. It was one of those dreams where you actually FEEL the pain. I woke up it "hurt" so bad. When I woke up I thought to myself, "If it is less pain than that, it'll be cool." And get this- I fell back asleep and I finished where I left off. I told the guy it hurt and he said, "You only have the top line of the Capital I. Is that okay?" I told him it was and I left.

July is Bursting With Birthdays, and Other Things That Make Me Happy

I don't think I have ever gone out this consistently over a matter of weeks in honor of co-worker's birthday celebrations. But it's cool. I like it. I had one two weeks ago that kicked off this Cacti birthday month, and then last Wednesday, Friday, Tuesday, tonight and then one on Saturday, too and perhaps one next Thursday. I chalk this up to just working at a fun place that attracts a lot of Cancers. After all, we are pretty darn neat.

Speaking of working with neat Cancers at a neat place, when I hear other people say certain things about their jobs, it makes me feel happy. I just read a former classmates status message on Facebook. It was something like, "Yay! Today is dress down day!" Ahem? That's everyday where I work. And I love it. It's little reminders from the outside world that confirm that I am completely happy every day at work.

From partying so much lately, I must say that maybe I am a little banged up and bruised- I may get clumsy sometimes and maybe once, earlier this week I took a good fall. But it was all in the name of birthday goodness.

The Driver's License Woes of Donna Talarico

I have a license to drive. Had one since I was 16. In fact, I wrote a memoir chapter about the fateful day I managed to pass my driver's test, the day I drove us home from the testing center and ended up on the sidewalk and the day my mom drove us the rest of the way home.

I am also 21. I mean, I am actually 30. So, what this means is that I am old enough to drive and I am old enough to drink, even though those two things should never be done together.

So, let's talk about my recent driver's license woes. If you read my blog, you will recall a past driver's license issue. On Sunday, January 20th, seven months to the day from when Incident #1 this week happened, I blogged about the time a national chain restaurant located in Wilkes-Barre would not serve me because my license was cracked. I made a promise that I would get a new license. But six months passed, and since I have been busy working and writing and reading (for school), I just did not make my way to the local driver's license center. The closest I got to the driver's license center in Hanover Township was when I went to Nanticoke for a co-worker's birthday party. So, over the seven months, my cracked license got worse. It's faded, peeled and just a mess. In my blog post back then, I joked and said my license "expired" as a pun-- as in death, not as in the expiration date printed on the license.

So, a half year later, I plan to meet a bunch of co-workers and Wilkes friends at a local bar that has a great Sunday happy hour. I am the first to arrive, so this means it is my responsibility to reserve the table. This bar is not my regular bar, but over the past several months, I have been there for this Sunday happy hour, and the week prior, I was there with about 50 co-workers for a dual going away party. So anyway, the bouncer tells me he cannot let me in. I instantly think that he means it is because of my cracked license.

"Your license is expired," he says.

I think about this. I turned 30. That means I had a birthday on July 16th. Licenses expire every four years the day after your birthday. Shit. He would not let me in, but I pleaded my case with the manager, who did not recognize me but did remember the party the week before. He said I was being nice and said he could let me in on the condition I filled out a waiver and left my license at the front door. Great. I ended up having a wonderful night and was very thankful. Pays not to give people a hard time for doing their jobs, but at the same time, being able to do something that you are of legal age to do. However, one problem. I leave my cracked, expired license at the bar. The bar is closed on Monday and Tuesday. I have another co-worker's birthday to celebrate on Tuesday at a bar that I have only been to once. Crap.

Tuesday comes along. In the meantime, I tear apart the apartment looking for my camera card. Can't find it. I renew my license online and print it out. Thank goodness I had a passport from when I tried out for Survivor all those times. I have a valid photo ID, plus a temporary license, which is also valid when accompanied with your expired license, but figure I just have a few days until the new camera card comes and I can go get my new license. But....

We start at one bar on Tuesday night. I get in without a problem using my passport. Around 10pm, I drive just a few blocks, only on one street, to get to the second bar. Flashing lights. I get pulled over. Turns out I ran a red light-- not trying to. Just must not have been paying attention; probably texting. The cops asks for my license and registration.

Gulp. I would say this is bad luck, but really, it was good luck. He accepted by passport and temporary license. It took me a while to find the registation because Dave and I just traded cars and I never opened the glove box until this very moment.... the card was wrapped up in a napkin. Haha. The cop just told me to be careful. Whew.

So boys and girls- pay attention to the dates on your license. When a bouncer wants to hang on to your license, remember it when you leave, because the bar just may close for two days in a row. And just incase, get yourself a passport-- it can save your butt. (P.S. My license is still at the bar, in their cash register and it is Thursday. Guess I need to get it to turn into the center....)

Diving into Dive Bars

Last night I was supposed to go on a dive bar hunting adventure, which I haven't done in a long time. It's pretty cool to stumble upon a gem of a dive bar, where the beer is cheap, the folks are nice (albeit usually a little odd, but then again, I am too) and if they have food, it's usually pretty damn good. Sometimes, the best places are off the beaten path.

We ended up going to one bar to meet someone my friend knew, so it wasn't technically a dive bar hunting adventure like we planned, but it surely was a dive bar. There was some interesting stuff going on between an chunkier woman and a man without his shirt on -- but had his sunglasses on - and I wished I had my video camera because I would have be a YouTube star contributor, but it was entertaining. But even though it looked odd to me, it was second nature at this place, as no one seemed to mind. So, I let it go too. The beers were cheap the shots were $2.50!! Wow! No wonder we did so many.

But the whole point of my story is that sometimes its more fun to give your regular bar the night off and go somewhere, the opposite of Cheers, where NO ONE knows your name. You can get fun and get silly and no one knows you. It's great.

I also realized how old I am getting, which isn't a bad thing. But I just don't dig dance music of today, all that hip-hop stuff from the late 90s until now. I mean, I don't hate it, but I prefer it at a dance club. So anyway this bar had an older DJ, so I thought my request for Bon Jovi or Tom Petty or something fun from the 70s or 80s would have been an immediate play. But no. An hour passed and me and my friend were getting tired of the music. So, I reminded him and he said, "Oh, I thought you left. I will get it on soon." So, it was almost 1am before I heard the catchy beginning of "American Girl" and me and my friend went nuts, but noticed that everyone left the dance floor. It was kinda comical, but I didn't car. I danced with my Miller Lite bottle, bopping around to my favorite song while everyone else in the bar got a refill or went pee. Then, he segued right into Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" which brought everyone back on the floor, and everyone who wasn't dancing was singing along and fist-pumping, and I happily thought to myself, "I did this!" Then, the DJ went back and played "We Are Family" and "It's Raining Men" before going back into the shit music. So, at least I had a string of four songs I knew and had fun listening to.

The music last night just made me realize how much I enjoy the songs I grew up with, and how I never get sick of them and how I can't get into most of the music today, namely the hip-hop. Maybe it's a sign of me turning 30 and how I never wanted to let go of the teen years? Not sure. But whatever it is- let's not forget that good music.

The School Bus: My Favorite Shot

I have to thank Jimmy R. and my days at Froggy 101 for learning how to ride the bus. The school bus is my favorite shot.

I've been doing more school busses as of late, and wanted to write a tribute to them. In 2003, I was actually paid for an essay I wrote about the school bus shot for a book called The Buzz on Beer- I am not sure if my essay didn't make it, or if the book wasn't published. At any rate, I tired tirelessy the last few days to located the essay. No luck- that was two computers ago.

So, what is a school bus? A school bus was long before Jager Bombs. But, it's a similar type of shot. It's a mug filled a quarter the way with orange juice and a quarter the way with a draft light beer. It's served with a shot of Amaretto. This shot works best with glass mug and glass shot glass. Then, you drop the shot glass in the mug and slam it. It tastes so smooth! Yummy! I love them.

I was introduced to this shot my a record guy from Nashville when I worked in radio. It became a popular shot among the radio staff and we always did them at our regular hang-out, Hops and Barley's. After the first few times of getting them there, the bartenders knew exactly what the school bus was. But, I must take credit along with the old radio crew for spreading this to NEPA. Everytime Jimmy would come to town, he would jingle his keys and say, "Ya'll ready to ride the bus?" At the big Country Radio Seminar one year, be made a bus pass- it was a laminated pass with a professionally drawn caricature of him driving a school bus. That's what he was known for! The School Bus shot. I still have this bus pass, by the way. I'll try to find it so I can scan it in here.

The school bus can be messy. While dropping the shot glass in is the best way to do it, the bar staff will be upset if they have to follow you with a mop. So, try to respect the floor and ease the shot in. : )

I've been doing a lot of school busses lately with my new co-workers and they are quickly becoming a favorite! I've included a few recent pics!

So- spread the wealth. Teach your local bartender how to do a school bus. And remember, school bus safety: don't drive your own car if you've done too many busses.

New Friends, Old Friends, Distant Friends

My throat hurts.

I had such a GREAT weekend this past weekend, and it started early, on Thursday. My four days were filled with people I haven't seen in a while, some great fun with people I see every day at work and a wonderful afternoon with some classmates.

Thursday after work I met Andee, my fellow blogger and child of divorce at Bart & Urby's. I have not seen Andee in nearly two years, and we only ever drank together once. We've kept in touch thanks to social networking, but haven't seen each other in person. So, it was a reunion! While there, I also ran into Jane, a lovely woman I had a class with at LCCC. It's always a pleasant surprise to run into someone like that, try to find out how you know each other, etc. The night was just great... one of the first in a long time that I hung out with just a girl friend. The conversation was great and the beers went down smooth. I realized how much I missed Andee, and also how much she reminds me of me and even who I wanted to be. She's smart, brilliant, hard-working, independent, honest, talented and what I love most, gutsy. Love her!!

Friday, it was Big Ugly's and Senunas' with coworkers. It's always fun with the crew, but this particular week, there seemed to be more drinks and air guitar and laughter. Somehow after the second bar, I managed to meet Dave and his sister for breakfast at Perkins. What a night! I totally love the people I work with. Such energy!

By the time I woke up and recovered from Friday on Saturday, it was time to do it all again. One of my best college buddies, Jeff was coming in. We decided to not risk driving, so he, Dave and I planned to get a room downtown at the Ramada. We met at the hotel and then headed to the new River Grille for dinner. (That's the old Waterfront Bar.) It wasn't as casual as I thought, but was great. Service was a little slow, but the food was wonderful. I'd reccomend the place. And also, they remodeled inside so its very different from the Waterfront-- the big difference was that the bar is closed off- but you can see in with these big windows. So, this means you can enjoy a nice dinner without puking from the smoke. After dinner on Saturday, we went to Bart & Urby's to see the Collective. It was a blast. Ended the night with breakfast at Sheetz and hanging in the hotel room telling stories and finally crashing. There is just some kind of energy that I get when I hang out with Jeff, probably because we were friends way back (10 years ago) as freshman at Wilkes-- so I think that youthfulness comes back out.

Sunday, some classmates and I from my creative writing program at Wilkes met for a workshop. It was just wonderful!! I felt a little bad because by Sunday all the extracurriculars I've been partaking in since Thursday caught up to me, plus the sinus infection, so I wasn't totally my chipper self. The work my classmate's read was just outstanding. I just know that many, many of my fellow MA classmates are going to be a huge success. I am honored to be a part of such a unique group-- and can't wait until the rest of the world gets to know what I know. Just the dedication that this group has to helping each other is amazing. I was not at a point to read my work just yet, as I am kind of changing gears, so I just listened and made comments.... and enjoyed seeing the ideas I heard about from my friends in January come alive off the page. I always leave meetings with these talented individuals feeling invigorated. I wished I was feeling in better health so they knew how excited I was to be there!

When I woke up for work today, I realized that although I still don't feel 100% healthwise (my head and throat ache), I am so happy. Ever since we moved out to the boonies, I feel as if I haven't been as social as I used to be, given the drive. This weekend, I hung out with more and different people than I have in a while, saw some old faces and am just in good spirits. I need to do this more. I need people. (Sometimes, I also guess I need a couch, spare bedroom or hotel reservation too, if there is drinking involved.... ; )

Despite hangovers and a sore throat from the screaming and the (second-hand) smoke, I'd do it all again next weekend.

Tom Petty is Playing @ Some Stadium Today

I could care less about football. However, I do enjoy the camraderie, pizza and beer and various dips that come along with attending a Super Bowl Party. I am getting ready to head out to my friend Jackie's house to enjoy the camraderie, pizza, beer, dip and MUSIC and commercials. I haven't the slightest interest in the game itself, and in fact did not even know who was in the SuperBowl until Friday at work. (It's the Phillies and the Yankees, right?)

I am thrilled. I am so glad none of that pop garbage is happening at this year's SuperBowl. This year's half-time show will ROCK. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, one of my absolute favorites, will make the television mean something to me today. Amidst all the poor saps who drop thousands to attend a stupid football game will be a rock & roll legend. That makes me happy.

I mean, seriously, folks like Justin Timberlake (who appeared on the infamous NippleGate half-time show) don't deserve to get to play in front of 140 million Americans, but folks like Petty, the Stones, etc. do. I don't know where they get off putting one-hit-wonders in this coveted musical time slot!

At any rate, I don't know what he'll play. Will he play a montage of his #1 hits leading up to a rockin' new song? That would appeal to the masses I think as most know those hits. But either way, as I eat my chips and drink my beer, this will be one SuperBowl that I will gladly watch.

This is my fave Tom Petty video- embedding is disabled, so you must click here.

My Expired License

When you don't get served a beer, even though you look old enough and like the blonde girl on your license, you know you have a problem.

My license is expired- in a literary sense that is. It's dead. It's life is over. It's broken. And my procrastinating nature finally got a kick in the ass last night.

Several months ago I left my license in my back pocket like a usually do. I must have sat on it wrong. It cracked. Over time, the little crack spread. Now, the license is basically in two halves, held together only by the small end of the plastic card that is still in tact. Since the license is cracked, the plastic coating is also peeling. It's hideous. But it's still my license. It's me.

I've gotten into bars just fine until last night. I was at a national chain restaurant and I won't say which one because I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but the bartender said that he could not serve me. I explained to him how it just broke in half and that I have my change-of-address card too to prove its me. He took both to the manager, but came back: the answer was still no.

We were only at the bar at this place waiting for our table to come available-- we just wanted a beer. But since we had plans to go to two bars afterwards. Dave was getting peeved. "You really need to get this taken care of. We may as well just go home," he said.

"But, I always end up knowing someone. It'll be okay," I reply.

The bartender asked if I wanted to see the manager and I said I did. Lo and behold, out came a woman I used to work with. She said she couldn't serve me.

"But you know me!" I pleaded.

She gave me a much-needed lecture that I really need to get this taken care of and that it truly was illegal for me to be served. I listened. I will go to PennDOT this week, or even do it online. I guess you don't need a new picture- they keep them on file. That's cool. But the bottom line is, I was able to get served. It was just ironic that I knew the manager.

Things always seem to work out for me, but I know that my luck will run out one day and there won't be a cool bouncer or an easy-going manager that knows I really am almost 30. At the next bar, the bouncer laughed at my license, but let me in. Later, at a dance club we went to, the door guy swiped my license in one of those machines and said, "Damn, girl. This is in rough shape...."

I mean, it almost makes me want to keep it as a fun conversation starter. Imagine the stories I could make up of how my license broke:

--I broke up a bar cat-fight. I lept into the pile like a hero. We rolled to the right and rolled to the left, and I finally got the two girls off each other. I came out a little torn up and so did my license, but the drama is over. The girls are best friends now.

--The bartender accidentally locked his liquor cabinet keys in the liquor cabinet. Patrons were thirsty and getting angry. I picked the door with my license and saved the evening, although some damage was done to my lock-picking tool. I got a free Mojito out of the deal.

-- We were sitting at a wobbly table and our beers kept sliding around. I did a MacGyver and placed my license under the uneven table leg to stop the table from moving. During the course of the evening, the table was bumped a few times and the license cracked.

-- I was at a bar with Jack Bauer and the gang from CTU when a terrorist came into the bar-- he had a suicide bomb. I was almost killed and escaped, but left my license on the table. Jack went back into the the burning bar to save my license. It was a little banged up, but he said that if any door guy ever gave me a problem to call him.

-- A haggardly old woman was working the door at the bar. Jealous of my youthful-29, she snapped my license in half. "You're half my age you young bitch," she'd say.

To to the manager last night and all those who served me the past few months, thank you for taking my driver's license. I will get it fixed. Until then, looks like I should drink at home.

Good Clean Fun at the Company Christmas Shinding

I have to thank the owners of my company for a wonderful Christmas party Friday! They really put on a great night for us, and as always, the Woodlands did a fine job of providing great service. I love my company!

I also have to say that I LOVE my coworkers. The only other place I worked where there was such camraderie and just plain wild fun was at the radio station. Everyone's dates were also cool as well, blending right in with the crazy cactus crew. (We've all been to parties where they aren't...) You couldn't ask for a better bunch of co-workers- no wonder we are voted one of the "Best Places to Work in PA!" I had a blast and so did Dave. He was out on the floor all night!

What is ironic about this is that at his own Christmas party, he was an absolute wallflower. I had more fun at this party than he did (which actually caused a tad of turmoil...) but I get it now. It's who you are with that makes it fun. That's why you can go to a shitty redneck bar and still have fun, as long as you are with cool people.

His company spent a ton of money bussing us all to New York from various locations in PA and NY, giving us a tour of the Raymond factory (he works for a dealership) and also put over 100 people up in a nice hotel for the evening. Not to mention a catered cocktail party and great dinner.... Totally a top-notch affair-- however, most people were a drag during the party itself. I am a social person and like to talk to everyone, dance (even thought I CANNOT dance), tell funny stories and just have fun. Well, imagine someone like me at a table full of duds!! No one would dance; everyone just talked shop-- which is exactly what you don't do at a holiday party-- it's the one day to let loose!

I kept telling Dave he wasn't his normal self (which upset me, because anyone who knows us, we are always fun).... I guess it's just who he was around that made him that way... because he rocked his socks off at my party and told me how much he enjoyed himself. Not that I am competitive, but I win! My party was overall better! : )

The after party was great, too. M80 was playing in the downstairs club and a few dozen of us hung out and continued to dance. Dave, Kevin, Kristen and I had a room- and since we had a room, we had access to the hot tub, which is as big as a freakin' pool- I think the biggest in PA. But, but the time me and my new friend Ben from the Call Center department made it there, our key only produced a red light-- meaning, locked. No go.

I ran up to the front desk. Two bouncers from the club were sitting on the couches - their shift was done for the evening. I asked them if I could have access to the Jaccuzi. He told me to fart in my bathtub. So, I ran back to the rooms we were hanging out it.

"Benjamin! Let's make a hot tub out of the bathtub!"

"Okay," he exclaimed.

And that's how you have some good clean fun after a Christmas party.

IV Drugs are Bad... but Have You Heard of IV Shots? Halloween Party 07

Dave and I went to Andy and Colleen's annual Halloween party last night. Surprisingly, I am already awake. It must be a sign that I and the other party-goers are either getting old, or drinking too much too fast, as the party ended around middnight, however Andy and I and Cara stayed up until 3 a.m. and I have some video of Cara dancing. Very funny. I will post on YouTube I think. I need a better digital camera with video, as with mine you can't adjust the light. I have some video of everyone dancing from earlier in the night, but it turned out way too dark.

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR THE SIZE 0

I had a lot of difficulty finding a costume this year. I waited until the last minute to get a costume which was mistake #1, but even with the small collection of costume, I had little luck because everything is made for short & skinny chicks. I wanted to be a viking chick, but I when I tried it on I thought the skirt was missing. Then I realized it was a one-piece. The shirt was really a dress. Cute, but I don't think the party wanted to see my ass. Seriously, everything else was a sexy costume. Where was the cute, the funny?

I ended up being Athena, the Greek goddess, which was cool since I love Athena- the goddess of creativity (I wrote about her once, here.) However, I could not find an ivy crown and the cheap gold necklace I bought broke as soon as I put it on. Dave's outfit worked out better. He wanted to be dead construction worker and since he works in the field, he already had some props. We just added a zombie flannel shirt which had flesh popping out, some blood and a knife.

The rest of the party looked great, especially our host and hostess, Andy and Colleen, who always have awesome costumes. John made a very sexy woman- I'd die for those legs and bouncy hair.

And, bet you were wondering what the headline meant-- Gary dressed up as a doctor and brought IVs that were filled with alcohol. We did IV funnels which was a lot fo fun and totally creative.

Bazaar Season: Indulging in Beer and Potato Pancakes

Newcomers to Northeast Pennsylvania always ask, “What is a bazaar?”

Usually thrown by a church or emergency rescue organization (fire, ambulance), bazaars are annual fundraisers, which involve drinking, eating, games of small chance, music... and drinking. Bazaars are a tradition in Northeast PA and they lure out all types of people. Normal people, esteemed people and people like the people I wrote about from my trip to Wal-Mart. But we're all there together, for the same reason.

The picture to the left there is the beer truck-- usually a cheap beer like Busch is served. Pitchers are $8 and then $6 for a refill-- not a bad deal. Most of the food is homemade- at least the food stand which has the biggest line:

Potato Pancakes!!
That’s one of the greatest things about bazaars. The potato pancakes. Circles of potato batter deep-fried to a greasy, golden goodness. You top them with salt and pepper and dip them in sour cream and, man are they freakin’ delicious. (The pic below just makes my mouth water!)

Other staples of the bazaar are also Polish in nature- haluski (cabbage and noodles) and pierogies. The music is always great—many of the top local bands in the area enjoy playing them as it gives them a change of scenery from the barrooms and allows fans of all ages to hear the music, as opposed to those of drinking age.

Dave and I went to the Lake Silkworth Fire and Ambulance bazaar last night and met up with some of our friends. We ate, drank and enjoyed 40 lb. Head. Then, since the night was young, we decided to head to the Hunlock Creek Tavern, which is kind of like the bar I blogged about a few days ago. Entertaining.

Nicole and I at the bazaar. I look like a ghost next to her!

At the bar, we had a few beers- and were entertained by a great band- 3rd Degree. They were really, really good and got the crowd going pretty well. We were also entertained by the antics of some very drunk and backwoodsy patrons. We then did a few pitchers of Kamakazie shots-- which were made with way too much lime juice. I got sick this morning. It was from that, I am sure. I don't think it sat well with all the food I ate at the bazaar.

Karen, Colleen, Nicole and I at the Tavern before the fun ensued.

One of NEPA's finest getting his groove on, Busch in one hand, stogie in the other. Note the girl in the mini-skirt on left of him. I have a better pic of her-- she had boots up to her knees and notice her dancing with her hands in her hair? They didn't leave her hair all night. I think they were stuck.


When we arrived, there was a reserved sign on the table. We were told we could sit there anyway. I put the reserved sign on my chest. I thought it was funny.....

Inner Makeover & Campfire fest

Kind of a double post here. The first thing: I wrote an article about an inner make-over I gave myself. Please check it out at my Associated Content page.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/305798/how_i_gave_myself_an_inner_makeover.html



Sometimes writing is therapeutic, and this was one of those times.



Second-- Saturday, Dave and I had our first party since we've been at our house. I love to entertain and am so happy we had a nice turn out. The weather was beautiful, the beer was cold and the food was fantastic!! Thanks to everyone who came. We did have some no-shows which led to A LOT of leftovers!

Here are some pics from the par-tay. Mark your calendars for next year- the second weekend in July for Campfire Fest '08. We want it bigger and we want people to camp out!!

Happy 4th of July

I heard rumors that there was a beach house in Kingston. A place where the parties were real. (Even though PA is landlocked.) Davey and I attended the beach house par-tay for the 4th. Despite the on and off again showers, it rocked.

John, Nikki and I left the party for a little while and went to Kirby Park. We got there just in time to hear the 1812 Overture and to see the kick-ass fireworks.

Thanks Tiffany, Amy and Amanda for the hospitality. We had a great time.

Creative Writing: Part III-- Pics from Angie

All of us 501-er's owe Angie Eckhart big time for capturing some memories of our final night together. She snapped and shared some pics from our Friday night banquet and after-party @ Keenan's. There are just a few of the pics! Thanks, Angie!!


This is Carol, Jon Rocks, Anna, Ryan, Mike Suppa and Angie. I had a blast with these guys. We went out for Mediterranean several times and have some great 'study' groups!

Three of my new favorite boys!! Remember these faces- Rocks, Suppa and Ryan will be famous one day! They had me in hysterics most of the week.

A few more of my new pals- Kim, my roomie Nicole, me, Mary and Russ! Awesome folks!

Can you tell this was from the after party? Anna wrapped Mike Suppa's head in her scarf. Too funny.

As Jonny Rocks, our Philly boy displays, all writers need a moleskine. He had his at all times. He was either collecting dirt on us, or material for a screenplay... or both!

I went around the bar and did one of my famous bar napkin jokes-- everyone was hysterical as you can see from this picture of Mike falling on the ground, me about to fall on the ground and my other new favorite guy, Scott-- only his elbow made the picture! What was the joke? That's top secret. I want YOU to fall for it one day, too. (Samara from islands of Washington state is on the left...)

I saved this pic for last because of the uncanny nature. The first night we had a mixer with the 'older' students (those who were graduating) and one of them was poet Craig Czury. He looks like my dad, dresses like my dad, has a demeanor like my dad-- and lives in the same town as my dad. And he is adopted.... needless to say, he and I had a connection that week. He's awesome. Also, he's artsy and free-spirited like my dad. I told him about my dad's book shop, so I hope Craig stops by and they can become pals. (My buddy Tim McLoughlin, who is already published is in the background.)

And for those looking to join a writing community- visit www.wilkes.edu/creativewriting.