My First Ticket

I've been know to live life in the fast-lane. However, I don't drive there.

I am a slow driver. People pass me all the time. People ride my ass all the time. In general, I think I piss other drivers off. I'm a 29-year-old grandma driver.

Yet, Wednesday morning, I was given my very first speeding ticket. It's like a life milestone. Your first tooth. Your first step. Your first word. Your first "time." Your first beer.

Your first speeding ticket.

It was my first day at our new location in Shavertown, so I took a different route to work. Work is now about 12 minutes closer for me because I don't have to go into Wilkes-Barre on the Cross Valley, or through all the lights on Wilkes-Barre Boulevard. I have a short-cut that I can take which leads me right to the road my new office is on.

My first day going to my new workplace. I am driving on Sutton Road in Shavertown, which has some gorgeous houses. I dream of living on this road, actually. So, 1) I was extremely hungover. 2) I was in la-la land and 3) I was starting at houses, left and right. Next thing I know, I see flashing lights-- no siren though.

I do a double-take because I thought these lights must be intended for someone else, but I realize that I am the only car on the road, so I pull over.

I was quite embarrassed because if you are a regular reader of this blog, then you will know about my letter to the editor a few months ago-- about speeders and terrible road conditions on Route 118. So, I tell the cop this, as well as the story about it being my first day. I still got a ticket. $164. I was nice, polite, didn't object or anything. It is what it is. He was doing his job, and I was now late for mine.

48 in a 25.... yikes. That's almost double, a co-worker pointed out to me. It didn't feel like I was going fast. Maybe since the road is hilly and curvy, I was caught while I was coasting? I don't know.

I wanted to say to him, "Oh thank goodness you got me this morning because I was shit-faced when I drove home from Hops last night..." but I didn't think that he'd think it was funny. Haha. I sort of wondered if my breath still smelled like alcohol. I read Tucker Max, I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell, and he actually had his own breathalizer and was still reading drunk the next morning. I mean, I doubt I was, but it was a funny thought to actually get a DUI the next morning on your way to work.

And, as Murphy's Law would have it, I did win a Spiff at work-- $100! Collected it that same morning, which was quite comical. Last time I won on the slots (five years ago), my car broke down, so as Donna Luck would have it, win money- something happens to my car, or in this case, my driving.