A Day of Errands

Since my dryer's heating element burnt and my new dryer won't be here until Tuesday, I did something I haven't done in a while. I went to the laundromat. It has hot. But, it did the job. I didn't have to wash AND dry, so that made it less painful. When I lived in Tulsa, they had this cool laundromat called Duds 'n Suds which had a snack bar, TV lounge, pool table, video games and even served beer. I wish there was a place like that around here. Not that I want to always have to go to the laundromat, but if and when I do need to, it'd be cool to have a hip place to go. There was a nice older man there that I struck a conversation with. He was pissed that people leave the clothes in the dryer and then don't come back.

After the laundromat, I went to Kmart to get an iron and an ironing board. Since I've been a few days without a dryer, I realized that I didn't have an alternative method to the "Donna Ironing Method" which is spray down the wrinkled shirt with a water bottle and then put in the dryer for 15 minutes. So, I thought I should invest in an ironing board and iron. Makes me feel domestic though and I don't like it one bit.

I decided to hit up Deb and that wasn't a good idea for two reasons. 1) The clothes there are in junior sizes or plus sizes. Nothing fit me. And I know. I tried a lot on. 2) There was a crazy lady who entertained me while I was trying on the too small tank tops.

This woman was in the dressing room.... a girl and her mom approached the dressing room. I could here them say, "Are you almost done? You just wanted to stop in quick and now my frozen foods are melted. Hurry up." (They must have been next door at Price Chopper first.)

"Yay! The food's getting cold, " screamed the girl. (It really wasn't getting cold- that's just what the little girl said.)

"Okay, I'll hurry," said the crazy lady. I wished I had a tape recorder. This woman was going off-- her friends had left and said they'd be in the car.

"Oh, I'm so messy! Oh, I need to tip this lady. This poor lady. I'm so messy."

I was holding in the laughter as I took off one top and put on another.

"Where's my money? Did I lose my money? Oh fuck, why am I so messy? I need my own car, I need my own car, I need my own car so people don't have to wait for me. Oh God, Oh God."

This is when I wished I had a camera.

"What time do you close Deb lady?" she hollered. A woman yelled 6. "What time is now?" The lady yelled, "4!"

"Oh goodness I have time to clean up. Why am I so messy?? I want to buy this but I don't have time. Nothing fits me. Nothing. I need my own car."

I wanted to flippin' pop my head underneath the dressing room to see what was going on. I was limited to bringing in three articles at a time, so I had no clue what kind of mess this lady made. When the lady finally left, I didn't have a shirt on but I opened the door anyway and held a t-shirt to hide myself- I had to see what she looked like. She was storming out..... I could only see the back of her.... from the back, she seemed somewhat normal. A little overweight but I wish I could see her face and teeth. I think she was fucked up on some serious drugs.

When I exited, I told the "Deb lady" that the woman was nuts. She said that the crazy lady threw all the clothes on the rack by the front door on her way out.

So, that was entertaining. I actually found two shirts that fit. The next stop was Price Chopper. I wanted to get a hanging plant, but everything looked wilted, so I went back to my truck. I didn't realize this before, but right by my door were three smashed cars of whipped cream. All I could think of was how Price Chopper is open 24.7 and that some teenagers either bought or stole these cans and did whippets in the parking lot. They're fun, sure. But the high lasts a minute. Then you get a headache. Then you can't use the whipped cream.

Then, I went tanning. They make you show your eyewear. They are eyewear Nazi's. And it's cool because I wear the eyewear to protect myself and always do. It's just funny to have a really tan teenage girl as, "Can I see your eyewear?" They won't let you in without it.

Then I went to Walgreen's by my house to by cat litter because I forgot at Kmart and Price Chopper. I ended up spending $70 when all I needed was cat litter. Don't you hate that?

So, now I think I need a beer and I will do just that. Happy Hour Sunday. Whew. What a day.