Addicted to the 99-cent Snack Attack

Of all the fast-food burger joints, I tend to go to McDonald's the most due to it's stone's throw proximity to the office. I wish I wasn't so dependent on fast food- I've just been working such long hours lately that I rush off the work without making a lunch or I don't have time to run to a real restaurant when I go on lunch or dinner-- so, nutrition for me has come by way of 99-cent double cheeseburgers.

The other week I headed up to the traffic hell area by the Arena and decided to do the Wendy's drive-thru for something different. Figured I'd get the chili. But while in line, I remembered a recent commercial I saw for the Snack Attack Double Cheeseburger. So, I ordered one of those too. Mmmm. I forgot how good Wendy's burgers are- fresh! Never frozen! That's what they say. And the sauce on these burgers just rocks!

It made me realize how I never go to Wendy's- they just aren't on my way home or in my regular travels. But recently during the bad weather we've been having, I haven't been taking my short-cut-- so on Route 309 in Dallas- I pass a Wendy's. Last night, I picked up a Snack Attack Double Cheeseburger for me and Dave. I ate mine immediately and almost ate Dave's and hid the evidence under the seat.

Tonight on on my way home, around 8:30, Dave called and asked what was for dinner. I said I'd make something when I got home. He paused. I said, "Well, I could take the long way and stop at Wendy's for a Snack Attack??" He asked for two. And I had two. We're going to turn into a Snack Attack.

At any rate, I made conversation with the lady at the window who recognized me from last night. I told her of my new addiction. She told me that she loves them too, but likes to go to McDonald's for their broccoli & cheddar soup. I said, "All you have to do know is go to Burger King to get your onion rings."

She told me that Wendy's may be getting onion rings and also that they are getting cookie dough to mix in their Frosties. Yum.

My Nightmare- Was it from eating too much?

I ate entirely too much at Jackie's SuperBowl party. I had six or seven beers, but I wouldn't say I was drunk. I think I had too much food to get drunk. Everything was so freakin' good, I just couldn't stop eating.

So, I think my digestive system was just freaked out and on overload that it sent all sorts of strange signals to my brain, which then turned into a massive nightmare.

When we got home from Jackie's, I crashed on the loveseat. Dave went upstairs to bed. Then around 1:30ish, he heard me screaming bloody murder:

"HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME! SOMEBODY, PLEASE HELP ME!!!"

His heart was racing and he ran to see that I was just having a nightmare. What was so strange was that my cat, Spectra was lying content on my tummy like nothing happened. She must be used to my strange sleeping habits.

But yeah- I was being chased I think, and it was one of those nightmares where you are screaming but nothing is coming out. So you keep trying to yell. I guess in real life I was screaming because it woke Dave out of a sound sleep and he was upstairs.

I was literally sleeping and laying down, but when he got me up and back to reality, I was panting, out of breath and my heart was racing so fast- I made him feel my chest (come on, mind outta the gutter!)... it was one of the worst nightmares I had in a long time, at least in my body's reaction to it.

But yeah- my cat just laid there. That's the funny part. I can laugh now that I realized no bad guy was chasing me and I have my voice back.

www.thedreamdrawer.com if you are interested in what dreams mean.

Do you use Protection? I have some to offer incase you don't!

I think this started as a doodle on my to-go box at Big Ugly's on Friday. A co-worker of mine began to doodle on my styrofoam box. Before I know it, three of my colleagues are drawing all over my box. I will cherish it forever. So, John Dawe created a little logo for by blog. Don't know why I never thought of this, but I thought I would share his clever masterpiece. I LOVE it. Thank you, Dawe-- so much! This is awesome. I mean, Dawesome. What a nice surprise on a SuperBowl Monday!

Tom Petty is Playing @ Some Stadium Today

I could care less about football. However, I do enjoy the camraderie, pizza and beer and various dips that come along with attending a Super Bowl Party. I am getting ready to head out to my friend Jackie's house to enjoy the camraderie, pizza, beer, dip and MUSIC and commercials. I haven't the slightest interest in the game itself, and in fact did not even know who was in the SuperBowl until Friday at work. (It's the Phillies and the Yankees, right?)

I am thrilled. I am so glad none of that pop garbage is happening at this year's SuperBowl. This year's half-time show will ROCK. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, one of my absolute favorites, will make the television mean something to me today. Amidst all the poor saps who drop thousands to attend a stupid football game will be a rock & roll legend. That makes me happy.

I mean, seriously, folks like Justin Timberlake (who appeared on the infamous NippleGate half-time show) don't deserve to get to play in front of 140 million Americans, but folks like Petty, the Stones, etc. do. I don't know where they get off putting one-hit-wonders in this coveted musical time slot!

At any rate, I don't know what he'll play. Will he play a montage of his #1 hits leading up to a rockin' new song? That would appeal to the masses I think as most know those hits. But either way, as I eat my chips and drink my beer, this will be one SuperBowl that I will gladly watch.

This is my fave Tom Petty video- embedding is disabled, so you must click here.

I Watched Two Girls, One Cup. Barf.

In my quest to find the "Two Girls, One Cup" video, I first stumbled upon reaction videos that I am guessing took place in a dorm room- they took turns recording their buddies' reactions to the videos, nearly every one of them had the gag reflex. Many got up and left the room.

I was telling a co-worker of mine about this video I saw about seven years ago that was pretty disturbing and the grossest thing I've seen. He said, "No, it was the #2 grossest thing you'll ever see."

That's when he piqued my morbid interest of the "Two Girls, One Cup" video. He told me about all the reaction videos, etc. But, he left the contents of the video up to my imagination.

I just found it online and finally watched "Two Girls, One Cup" and I made it through just fine, although really grossed out. Until the end that is-- yep. I just about puked too. Awful.

So, if you are curious and you don't mind scat, well, Google "Two Girls, One Cup." Just don't mess your keyboard up.

Ugh.

Not that Wikipedia is the most trust Internet resource, but here is a link to its entry on Two Girls, One Cup.

I love my job!

Short and simple blog.

I love my company. I love what I do. I love my job.

I am soooo happy!

I own the second week in January!

A few posts ago I wrote about the Bylines 2008 weekly planner my short essay was chosen for. I just receieved my copy in the mail this week! I am stoked.!! You can see my entry below. (You can click to enlarge it to read the entry.)

I was bummed a little bit since that week is already over, however it was the week I was at Wilkes for my creative writing residency, so it was acutally perfect! The week I spent with my writer friends and mentors is on the other page of an essay about writing! I love it!

If anyone is interested, you can learn more about this planner for writers, visit http://www.bylinescalendar.com. I am really impressed- it's a very cool book with some neat features for writers.

My Expired License

When you don't get served a beer, even though you look old enough and like the blonde girl on your license, you know you have a problem.

My license is expired- in a literary sense that is. It's dead. It's life is over. It's broken. And my procrastinating nature finally got a kick in the ass last night.

Several months ago I left my license in my back pocket like a usually do. I must have sat on it wrong. It cracked. Over time, the little crack spread. Now, the license is basically in two halves, held together only by the small end of the plastic card that is still in tact. Since the license is cracked, the plastic coating is also peeling. It's hideous. But it's still my license. It's me.

I've gotten into bars just fine until last night. I was at a national chain restaurant and I won't say which one because I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but the bartender said that he could not serve me. I explained to him how it just broke in half and that I have my change-of-address card too to prove its me. He took both to the manager, but came back: the answer was still no.

We were only at the bar at this place waiting for our table to come available-- we just wanted a beer. But since we had plans to go to two bars afterwards. Dave was getting peeved. "You really need to get this taken care of. We may as well just go home," he said.

"But, I always end up knowing someone. It'll be okay," I reply.

The bartender asked if I wanted to see the manager and I said I did. Lo and behold, out came a woman I used to work with. She said she couldn't serve me.

"But you know me!" I pleaded.

She gave me a much-needed lecture that I really need to get this taken care of and that it truly was illegal for me to be served. I listened. I will go to PennDOT this week, or even do it online. I guess you don't need a new picture- they keep them on file. That's cool. But the bottom line is, I was able to get served. It was just ironic that I knew the manager.

Things always seem to work out for me, but I know that my luck will run out one day and there won't be a cool bouncer or an easy-going manager that knows I really am almost 30. At the next bar, the bouncer laughed at my license, but let me in. Later, at a dance club we went to, the door guy swiped my license in one of those machines and said, "Damn, girl. This is in rough shape...."

I mean, it almost makes me want to keep it as a fun conversation starter. Imagine the stories I could make up of how my license broke:

--I broke up a bar cat-fight. I lept into the pile like a hero. We rolled to the right and rolled to the left, and I finally got the two girls off each other. I came out a little torn up and so did my license, but the drama is over. The girls are best friends now.

--The bartender accidentally locked his liquor cabinet keys in the liquor cabinet. Patrons were thirsty and getting angry. I picked the door with my license and saved the evening, although some damage was done to my lock-picking tool. I got a free Mojito out of the deal.

-- We were sitting at a wobbly table and our beers kept sliding around. I did a MacGyver and placed my license under the uneven table leg to stop the table from moving. During the course of the evening, the table was bumped a few times and the license cracked.

-- I was at a bar with Jack Bauer and the gang from CTU when a terrorist came into the bar-- he had a suicide bomb. I was almost killed and escaped, but left my license on the table. Jack went back into the the burning bar to save my license. It was a little banged up, but he said that if any door guy ever gave me a problem to call him.

-- A haggardly old woman was working the door at the bar. Jealous of my youthful-29, she snapped my license in half. "You're half my age you young bitch," she'd say.

To to the manager last night and all those who served me the past few months, thank you for taking my driver's license. I will get it fixed. Until then, looks like I should drink at home.

Bylines 2008: I was chosen as one of 53 writers....

There is a really cool calendar for writers called Bylines. Each year they seek 53 writers to tell their story for use on one of the week sections. This year, the editor chose mine. I can't wait to see what week my quote falls on!

These are all the other writers who were chosen: http://www.bylinescalendar.com/writers_links_2008.htm

Here is a description of Bylines 2008:

The 2008 edition has 53 more great stories, with writers representing 24 states and 5 foreign countries! And we have kept the same low price for 5 years!Available Now! Not your ordinary daytimer, Bylines 2008 Calendar is chock full of inspiration, humor and passion. Just the sort of thing aspiring and working writers need to read on a daily basis to keep the creative juices flowing and the angst at bay. Bylines 2008 Writer's Desk Calendar:

-Each week features an author sharing his/her insights on the writing life.
-Ample space for jotting notes, and highlighting upcoming events on the calendar
-Weekly calendar; also a "month at a glance" view for planning longer projects

Extra Features:
-Daily listings of famous writers' birthdays
-Handy resource list of our favorite books and writing-related websites.
-Page to designate writing goals for the year; also pages for writing monthly goals
-Listings of "literary" holidays
-Pages to write down conference notes
-An expanded resources section

Even MORE features in the 2008 edition:
-Handy submission tracker, that can be copied as needed
-pages for recording phone numbers and email addresses
-pages for keeping track of travel/business expenses

http://www.bylinescalendar.com/

Back from Residency

I am back from a week-long creative writing residency, the second of four residencies. I am almost half-way to the MA in creative writing!

It was harder to leave this residency than the first one back in June. Relationships are stronger and we're all getting ready to delve into our capstone projects. The amount of talent in my cohort is just incredible. The chemistry of our group is also incredible. Combine the two, and we have a killer support group at hand to help us all achieve success with our novels, memoirs, plays, screenplays and poetry collections. Aside from having been assigned our faculty mentors, we still all have each other to get advice and support from as we continue our trek.

I learned so much in the past seven days. A lot about myself and a lot about the writing life and profession. For example, at the oral interpreation classes, I learned that I move my feet a lot and I also learned that fecal denial is a subject that people enjoy. (I need to work on my presentation skills.) But seriously, I learned that it's not easy to be a professional writer, that much I know. But with the support of my newly named mentor, Becky Bradway, I know that I will get great, solid guidance toward my capstone manuscript.

One piece of advice I will take with me. I learned from another faculty member, Bev D'Nofrio that the truth is more important than anything when writing a memoir- I was worried what some people may think, or that I would hurt feelings. So, I think that as I write I am going to learn a lot about myself. But more importantly, I should not hide details if they are part of the story, no matter how painful they are. I do have humor as a guise though - I intend to use humor to overpower any serious issues. The reader will know they are there, however. The best example of this is Running with Scissors, by Augusten Burroughs. I am really looking to him style for a model.

I could go on and on about the week at Wilkes. If anyone out there is yearning to be a writer- you need to look into this program. Search my blog by keyword "wilkes" to read all about the residency last June as well. Good times.

Back to unpacking. Back to my normal life.